Not Led by the Spirit

When not being led by the Holy Spirit…

I work too much and too hard for too long,

because I believe the results are up to me.

I allow people to define me.

I work out of my own ability instead of allowing God to work through my ability. I can do this for some time. Then I crash and burn.

I become task driven instead of creativity motivated. This makes me tired and grumpy. Which makes me snap at people I love.

I become task driven instead of relationally oriented. Which leads me to treat people as objects to be used in my own personal game.

I become task driven instead of Christ centric. As though Jesus simply handed out a enormous cosmic to-do list.

I do not sleep enough.

I watch too much TV.

I read without listening.

I eat poorly.

I stop exercising.

I spend more money.

If I stay in this spiritual desert for too long, I start wandering after false images of oasis. My besetting sin haunts me in such places. My enemy, the devil, prowls around my camp like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

I ignore my children. Or rather, I allow the effort of parenting to eclipse the joy. They become projects to manage instead of gifts to open.

I listen less.

I talk more.

I do not accept my place in the scheme of things. So I steal other people’s opportunities to serve God by trying to do everything myself.

I go through the motions.

I accept the world’s version of success instead of holding out for God’s.

I fear my sins are bigger than the cross, grace is an illusion and forgiveness only goes to those who deserve it. Of whom I am not one.

About revjayg

Episcopal priest, church planter, writer and partner in the gospel looking to connect a faith that matters with real life. View all posts by revjayg

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